Snakes on a Dream

I had some really weird dreams this weekend, and what’s stranger is that I actually remember two of them. I am one of those people that just do not normally remember my dreams. Even when I try to remember them, I generally forget not long after waking up.

The first was a nightmare. It caused me to startle awake, in the middle of my Saturday mid afternoon nap. That’s right I was napping! It’s my weekend and I’ll be as lazy as I want! It was the more interesting of the two and luckily the one I remember the most of. Anyway, here’s a synopsis of the dream.

I was in line at the aquarium to get suited up and swim in one of the tanks. I’m totally excited and ready to go. The instructor was going on about safety when we’re in the tank. She says that as long as we don’t bother the snakes, that they won’t bother us. Please be careful not to brush against the eels because they will shock us. And do NOT grab any of the sharks by the tail. Most of the deadly things stay at the bottom, so as long as you stay in the middle of the tank we should be fine.

So first thoughts: Why am I in line to do this?!? I’m extremely frightened of all these things. Not only was I in line, but I seemed thrilled to be there. OK back to the dream…

The way it worked was that we would swim across the tank and back in a single file line. There was several feet between you and the person in front / behind you, and there were maybe 6 people in the tank at a time. Everything is going fine at first. I’m about middle of the line so I’m happily watching the other people go in anticipation of my turn. It’s finally my turn, and I get in. Still everything is going well. The animals and coral reef in the tank are beautiful. I reach the far end of the tank and make the loop to return to the entrance. This is about the time that things start to go terribly wrong. I notice a guy on his way across the tank start to swim to the bottom (wasn’t it clearly stated that this is a no-no!) He is at the bottom of the tank looking around when suddenly a snake strikes at him. He quickly and clumsily tries to get back in the line at mid tank level. This is when it happens….his fin hits the plug at the bottom of the tank.

Ok, so by the way, since when do hundreds of rare and poisonous snakes live in salt water tanks with sharks at the aquarium? Do aquarium tanks really have bath tub plugs at the bottom? You’d think they’d be designed a little better, but what do I know? I’m just the dreamer here.

The water lever starts to lower immediately, and the drain is starting to suck all the divers to the bottom of the tank. (In case you’ve forgotten that’s where all the dangerous animals are!) I’m swimming with all my might, faster than ever trying to reach the exit to the tank. I get there just in time to grab the ledge of the tank. The water was too low to get out. So I’m hanging on the inside of the tank ledge. I look down to see the carnage below. There is nothing but blood and body parts and deadly animals. The swimmers had been plunged onto the sharp coral and couldn’t get up seeing as they were still in their flippers. The snakes were attacking, one guy was lit up like a Christmas tree as he did battle with an eel, and a large shark was flying towards one diver.

To understand that last part you should think of the preview of ‘My Super Ex Girlfriend’, when Uma throws the shark into Luke’s apt. Yes, I realize I told you there is no water in the tank and that sharks can’t fly, but it’s my dream. So back to it …

Ok, by now, I have hoisted myself over the ledge and I’m leaning half into the tank holding another swimmer up. (I don’t know where this guy came from since it’s a good 25 feet to the bottom of the tank, but we won’t wonder about that.) So I’m trying to pull this guy that looks like the love child of Chris Farley and Larry the Cable Guy up over the ledge with me. Obviously this was no easy task. I’m telling the guy “just hold on” and other encouraging words when he gets this horrified look on his face. I realize I have this big snake on my back, and to get it off I have to let go of one of the guy’s hands. I fling the snake into the tank, and grasp the guy again to continue the struggle to save him.

Wait for it…this is when it happens…

A yellow dart frog pops out of the top of his shirt and lunges for me. I scream, drop the guy, and wake up with my heart racing.

That’s right folks! The sharks, snakes, and electric eels didn’t matter at all, but let a frog jump at me and it’s like Armageddon has arrived. At least the frog in my dream was a poisonous one; although I probably would have had the same reaction if it was Kermit since I’m deathly afraid of frogs.

My second dream is far less entertaining. It involved me attending the mass of a fundamentalist Catholic cult. I was doubtful and questioning of their teachings so they didn’t care for me much. That’s OK though because I didn’t care for attending services in a manufactured storage building, probably because it reminded me of the shed at my mom’s house which has frogs and bugs in it. The alarm woke me up before anything really exciting or odd happened. I just thought that it was crazy that of all the fundamentalist groups out there wreaking havoc on the world, I dreamt about a Mel Gipson brand of Catholicism. I did really like their cult robes though.